"Maybe I've already gone off the deepend. Nothing is making sense right now, except sleep."*** Once more I heard a voice calling me through the shimmer of dusk."Cris, dinner time." I struggled to rouse myself. "Cris, wake up!" Oneeye opened! "Cris wake up, or we throw it to the hogs and you can havesoup and Jell-O again. Those clothes are so pretty. I think you'll looklovely in them, after the bandages are off. Must finish my rounds."Somehow I managed to get the second eye open and. I had a great big row with Silvio. He had assumed that Mike just took advantage of the situation to have a ‘bit on the side’. He didn’t realise until then how strong was our love for each other. I told him he was lucky to have a friend like Mike who looked after me while he had deserted me. I told him I didn’t love him but I would stay because we were married. It changed him I think. I don’t think he loved me before but perhaps he felt differently then, I don’t know but he realised what I had. He apologized and all was well. Jesse honestly grew to love Brad over the years, but it was an odd sort of love. More the way a slave loves a slave owner or a dog loves his master than a boy loves his bigger brother. When Roy ultimately was taken to the Juvenile Detention Center, he was 15. Brad was 13, and Jesse 11. Jesse no longer needed Brad to comfort him the way he used to. He didnt sit on Brads lap an cry any longer, but he did sit on Brads lap when he was naked, sometimes, and whisper in. It was getting dark outside when I awoke again. Tom was sitting in the same chair looking at me. Anxiety was written all over his face. He set down his tablet computer, which is attached to him like an appendage, and poured me another glass of water. I drank it just as greedily as the first time.He said with a soft ironic smile, “Welcome back” and stroked my head.I felt a lot better than this morning. I tried a wan smile and said, “I feel like somebody has worked me over with a baseball bat..
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